As somebody that can't say anything?

[helplessbystander]

I wasn't home schooled, my husband was. And my brothers wife was. Neither set of parents did much.

My husband was yanked out of school at age 9, returned at age 15 (high school), and didn't learn anything between point A and B. None of his siblings can spell, he's the only one that even reads as an adult. The others rarely if ever read. They didn't learn.

One of those sisters, who herself can't spell, is about to embark on homeschooling her 5 year old .... don't you have to have a grasp of the English language before you teach English? Does it help to know math before you teach it?

I have seen the emotional and social harm homeschooling did to my husband. As an adult, he is 100% against homeschooling our children.

Is there anything I can say to help his sister understand that homeschooling is NOT the best option for her children? Or do I just bite my tongue, and accept the fact that somebody who barely squeaked through high school, and has <1 year of college, is going to homeschool her children? They'll never be productive members of society if they don't have a chance to learn!

[Laura]

My name is Laura and I thought you may be interested in my story; I am very interested in yours and others like you.



Here is a link to my story featured in an online newspaper:

www.voiceofsandiego.org/education....1cc4c03286.html



My mother is also a fellow unschooler/homeschooler and what the article does not say is that the 8th grader tested AT LEAST 3 grade levels below in math. She is also reading at about a 5th grade level. I am very worried for my siblings, but there is nothing that can be done because in California there is no accountability for homeschooling parents.



While I firmly support homeschooling when done properly, I think accountability it necessary to keep children from slipping through the cracks.

I am trying to collect more personal stories to give clout to my own experience (many people are saying that my siblings are the only ones out there going through this) and if you can send me your story so I can share with others, I would be forever indebted to you. Please include as much contact info as you feel comfortable giving and if you know of anyone else who has a story like ours, please forward them this message and my email. Thank you so much in advance for your help!



Laura Tate



[e-mail]

[repentant]

It's heart-breaking. Nobody likes to see children suffer. I'll make a few assumptions:

1. Your sister-in-law is unaware of her own ignorance.

2. It is impossible to make her consciously aware of this because stupid people cannot accept their own stupidity.

3. Subconsciously, she is aware of her stupidity and will use the kids to make herself feel smart.

4. Like many stupid people, she has a strong urge and drive to feel superior to other people.

You have to play on her insecurities.

If she is religious (Christian zealot type), tell her God has given her a great mission. She is to serve as a beacon of purity and goodness through the light of her children. How can she accomplish this mission if they are sequestered at home? No, she has to teach them right from wrong while putting them front and center in the world for all to see. Only in school can they do as Paul said: "go and make disciples of all nations." If you keep them at home, sure it's easier for them to be good. But are they really fulfilling God's will? Are they converting the world through the virtuous example that they learn at home? Keeping them at home does nothing to make the world a better place, as God clearly commands. And if her teachings are virtuous, she has nothing to fear, for God will protect them. But if her motives are selfish or impure, then bad things will happen. Yada yada. You get the picture.

If she is not religious, it's a bit tougher. But every time she says something good about homeschooling (like the kids will learn more because they can go at their own pace, etc.) just say, wow, I wonder what other parents will think when they see that. Internally, she'll know few parents will see it and it will upset her egotistical drive to feel superior.

In either case, make no logical arguments against homeschooling. Despite being sensible, they are not persuasive when the motives are ignorance, insecurity, emotion, etc. They'll put you on the "wrong" side and you can never be trusted.

Best of luck. I think you owe it to the kids to do something.

[Survivor]

Nice post repentant... I usually like to throw out a few thoughts, but I think I would just dilute what you said...
I love this statement...

How can she accomplish this mission if they are sequestered at home?

Asking questions is always a great way to get people to see the error of their ways, it's just hard to come up with the right ones sometimes.

My only suggestion is everyone should read these 3 posts again.
Problem, someone who wants to help, and then someone with suggestions...

Awesome everyone! This is what it is about