Post by Revenwyn on Apr 11, 2011 11:09:04 GMT -6
While I had lots of outside activities such as sports, choir, speech and debate, and other things, my family used their homeschooling to shelter me from the world and things that my peers at church were into. I have never been able to overcome the hurdles of being able to connect with my peers as a result, as I grew up without a TV, computer, video games, and no music except hymns and classical music. Every year past 18, they came up with some "reason" that I was not able to graduate yet. The "Courtship Craze" wasn't good enough for them. Since neither dating nor courting are mentioned in the Bible, it wasn't Biblical enough.
I eventually graduated at age 21... when they found someone to arrange me in marriage with. He was 40. He had similar interests to me and seemed like he would genuinely care for me... that should make me happy, right? Also apparently my "education" was no further than 8th grade level, although I had taken some college classes in music and PE, as my family would say is fitting for a woman. My family did not approve of further education for young ladies because they believed it was the man's full responsibility to provide everything for his wife. Thus, I am now 28 years old and have never held a job.
I eventually ran away and became homeless to be with the one I loved. I met him at university (which I was able to transfer into without taking ACT or SAT because of those music and PE credits), which my family begrudgingly sent me to because the man they wanted me to marry required that I spend at least one semester in a university several states away so that I wouldn't regret not having that experience.
My family did everything they could to separate me from my love. We survived a 5 year long distance relationship with NO contact whatsoever, except when I could sneak to the public library and email him there. However my family soon stopped letting me out of the house except to go to church. Eventually I got money from a friend who knew my predicament and this allowed me to run away. I was almost 27.
Nowadays I'm back at the university where I met my husband. He's disabled, I am so behind in my education that I had to drop out of college, but he's a student. We're living on his disability check of less than $700 a month because I can't get a friggin job because I don't have a GED and I've tried to pass it three times already.
While I will say I have many acquaintances whose homeschooling went well, and their parents ultimately did decide to let their children make their own choices in regards to belief, I also know acquaintances who have much of the same sad story.
I'm not as much against homeschooling as I am for homeschooling reform. I think that if a family homeschools then they sould be required to enroll their child in at least one public or private school activity a week. This would allow those who are trained to look for child abuse to recognize where there is trouble and for the child to speak out against their parents if necessary. I also think that if the child is raised well outside the realm of "normal" for our society (meaning the child doesn't have at least an operational TV, but not necessarily cable in their home, or has no internet access or anything else that is suspect of ultra religious beliefs) then further investigation should be made into that family's beliefs and rearing of that child. Sure, they might be able to interact with their fellow homeschoolers who are raised pretty much the same way. But what about the kids at church who are not homeschooled?
To this day, I have a hard time watching ANY movies that are not animated, because my family believed that movies were of the devil and I was not allowed to watch them. While I have been able to move past this point with music (I like gothic metal, and have turned Goth myself, which shocks my family) it's been much more difficult to learn to enjoy movies. I still don't have a TV, and it's been hard to branch out in my reading choices because all of my books were pre-read for me. If it had ANY romance, violence, crime, evil, etc. it was ruled out for me as an option to read. That left practically nothing. How can you have a book without a climax? How can you have a story without characters personal battles, even?
So I'm left a perfect mess. In addition to all this my family believed in eating a vegan, raw food diet, and seeing a naturopath for all of their medical needs. So I literally got no fat in my body except for church potlucks, and then my body would hoard it. My hormones were non-functional. I was 215 pounds. When my husband started feeding me food with *gasp* fat, I lost 60 pounds and my period finally came for the first time, at the age of 27.
Later on I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome and a learning disability.
I eventually graduated at age 21... when they found someone to arrange me in marriage with. He was 40. He had similar interests to me and seemed like he would genuinely care for me... that should make me happy, right? Also apparently my "education" was no further than 8th grade level, although I had taken some college classes in music and PE, as my family would say is fitting for a woman. My family did not approve of further education for young ladies because they believed it was the man's full responsibility to provide everything for his wife. Thus, I am now 28 years old and have never held a job.
I eventually ran away and became homeless to be with the one I loved. I met him at university (which I was able to transfer into without taking ACT or SAT because of those music and PE credits), which my family begrudgingly sent me to because the man they wanted me to marry required that I spend at least one semester in a university several states away so that I wouldn't regret not having that experience.
My family did everything they could to separate me from my love. We survived a 5 year long distance relationship with NO contact whatsoever, except when I could sneak to the public library and email him there. However my family soon stopped letting me out of the house except to go to church. Eventually I got money from a friend who knew my predicament and this allowed me to run away. I was almost 27.
Nowadays I'm back at the university where I met my husband. He's disabled, I am so behind in my education that I had to drop out of college, but he's a student. We're living on his disability check of less than $700 a month because I can't get a friggin job because I don't have a GED and I've tried to pass it three times already.
While I will say I have many acquaintances whose homeschooling went well, and their parents ultimately did decide to let their children make their own choices in regards to belief, I also know acquaintances who have much of the same sad story.
I'm not as much against homeschooling as I am for homeschooling reform. I think that if a family homeschools then they sould be required to enroll their child in at least one public or private school activity a week. This would allow those who are trained to look for child abuse to recognize where there is trouble and for the child to speak out against their parents if necessary. I also think that if the child is raised well outside the realm of "normal" for our society (meaning the child doesn't have at least an operational TV, but not necessarily cable in their home, or has no internet access or anything else that is suspect of ultra religious beliefs) then further investigation should be made into that family's beliefs and rearing of that child. Sure, they might be able to interact with their fellow homeschoolers who are raised pretty much the same way. But what about the kids at church who are not homeschooled?
To this day, I have a hard time watching ANY movies that are not animated, because my family believed that movies were of the devil and I was not allowed to watch them. While I have been able to move past this point with music (I like gothic metal, and have turned Goth myself, which shocks my family) it's been much more difficult to learn to enjoy movies. I still don't have a TV, and it's been hard to branch out in my reading choices because all of my books were pre-read for me. If it had ANY romance, violence, crime, evil, etc. it was ruled out for me as an option to read. That left practically nothing. How can you have a book without a climax? How can you have a story without characters personal battles, even?
So I'm left a perfect mess. In addition to all this my family believed in eating a vegan, raw food diet, and seeing a naturopath for all of their medical needs. So I literally got no fat in my body except for church potlucks, and then my body would hoard it. My hormones were non-functional. I was 215 pounds. When my husband started feeding me food with *gasp* fat, I lost 60 pounds and my period finally came for the first time, at the age of 27.
Later on I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome and a learning disability.
